It’s a powerful moment when you stand, as a priest, before a couple who are getting married. The practice generally is to dictate the words of the vows and the couple repeat those words, first the groom, then the bride (sadly we aren’t yet able to marry everyone equally). The vows embrace the reality of life
‘for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health’
It’s a powerful statement, a powerful promise that one person can make to another. It’s reinforced then in the blessing that the priest prays over the couple
‘Bless them in their work and in their companionship; awake and asleep, in joy and in sorrow, in life and in death.’
The harsh reality is there and it has been for us at Southwark Cathedral over these last four days. We have been surrounded by the wonderful celebrations of the Platinum Jubilee of Her Majesty The Queen but we have also been conscious that before we could party we had to remember. As the clergy and staff at St Paul’s were getting ready to welcome the Royal Family, the nation and the world to the service of thanksgiving across the river we were making final preparations for the service of commemoration on the fifth anniversary of the terrorist attack on London Bridge and the Borough Market. We had to hold back the celebrations of a wonderful reign until we had remembered before God the eight people who died and those injured and the many whose memories are scarred and their emotions bruised in the experience. I count myself among them. I too needed this time to remember, to pray and to look to the future. I needed to hear the words that are on the plaque unveiled and dedicated on this occasion ‘Hatred does not cease by hatred, but by love alone.’

In many ways five years is a long time; it was a different decade, it was pre-pandemic, we hadn’t brexitted, it was pre-Boris. Yet in other ways it feels just like yesterday, such a defining moment in our lives that it will take a lifetime to come to terms with. Half of my time so far as dean has been coloured and shaped by the events of that evening. Five years ago was, of course, a terrible and frightening period of our history. There were five terrorist incidents in just a few months – 22 March at Westminster; 22 May at the Manchester Arena; 3 June at London Bridge; 19 June outside Finsbury Park Mosque; and 15 September on the tube at Parsons Green. We had become involved in the first of these events in that Southwark Cathedral was the venue for the funeral of PC Keith Palmer killed in the grounds of the Houses of Parliament. As I preached at that service, relayed to the thousands lining the streets from Westminster to Southwark, little did we know that we would also suffer in just a few months time.
On Friday before the service of commemoration I went to join those gathered in our local mosque for Friday Prayers. The prayer hall rapidly filled and a message was got to me that the imam was happy that I address the congregation. That had happened five years before when, following the attack, I went to Friday Prayers and was invited to speak. On this occasion the sermon had been all about the importance of honouring family and especially our mothers. So when I was led to the space in front of the mihrab to speak I was able to say to those there that we were all family, that those before me were my brothers, that those in a different space were my sisters and that as a family we were stronger, had grown stronger over these five years.
Sometimes in life we just say things, but this is all true. We have grown stronger by sharing in the pain, the sorrow, that harsh reality and then being able to share in the joy. After the service at the cathedral we were all invited back to the mosque. Tea had been laid on for us all and in that same space, that place of prostration where I had spoken earlier, we drank tea and ate cake and began to be able to enter the celebrations going on around us.
Through all these events and so many more the Queen has been a solid and constant pressure, reassuringly there, in the good times and the bad, experiencing her own annus horribilis but never losing faith in the God who sees us through the worst to the best. There at the end of the Book of Revelation is a vision of a better place, a better city and those words that surround the memorial olive tree at the Cathedral
The leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. (Revelation 22.2)
It is that vision and that hope that sees us through the sorrows and into the joys.
God, hold us when life is hard, be with us when life is good; take us through the sorrow to know your joy. Amen.
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